The Regency Library
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CHAPTER 13. Etiquette of Good Society Teas
High Tea—What to put on the Table, and how to place It—Arrangement of the Drawing Room—Five o’clock Teas “-------while the bubbling and loud-hissing urn Throws up a steaming column and the cups Which cheer but not inebriate wait on each.” Cowper.
“Tea” is supposed to be essentially the ladies meal; but there are countless numbers of the opposite sex who, while they swallow “just an odd cup because it is made,” experience as much enjoyment as those for whose delectation it was said to have been brewed. There are two classes of teas—“great teas” and “little teas;” the “high” or “meat” teas which come under the first denomination, and “handed tea,” or “afternoon tea,” which place themselves under the latter. The first of these is quite a country institution, and scarcely known to the dwellers in towns. Now a tea, of whatever kind, may be made one of the most agreeable of meals; for tea always seems to produce sociability, cheerfulness, and vivacity. There is an air of comfort and home which hovers over the tea table, one which the more formal dinner table can never present. What more welcome and cheering sight can meet our eye on the return from a long journey or distant excursion, of from the hardly contested battle on the lawn-tennis ground, than the hissing, steaming urn, the array of cups and saucers, the sociable, genial air which the tea table invariably presents? Let us first speak of “high teas,” which, as we have remarked, are most in fashion in the country, and for this reason: late dinners interfere with the social, informal life that country people are wont to lead, and those who are on hospitable thoughts intent have not the same opportunities afforded them of carrying out their wishes. For instance, it would be impossible in many households to invite twenty people to dinner at a few days’ notice; or if several friends happened to call, bringing their visitors with them, they could not be asked to stay if the evening meal were a dinner; but, in either case, it is quite feasible when tea is in question. Very pleasant gatherings may take place in this way, either in summer as a termination to archery or lawn-tennis, or in winter as a prelude to music, round games at cards, or charades. “A white cloth is always laid on the table for “high tea,” and on it down the centre are placed flowers and in summer fruits. Nothing looks more tempting than bowls of old china filled with ripe red strawberries and jugs of rich cream by their side. Glass dishes containing preserved fruits of different colours, such as apricots, strawberries, marmalade &c., take their stands at short intervals. Cakes of various kinds—plum, rice, and sponge; and then within easy reach of the “tea-drinkers” are hot muffins, crumpets, toast, tea-cakes, and what not. At one end of the table the tea-tray stands, with its adjuncts; at the other the coffee is placed, also on a tray. The sideboard is the receptacle of the weightier matters, such as cold salmon, pigeon and veal and ham pies, boiled and roast fowls, tongues, ham, veal cake; and lamb may be there for the gentlemen of the party. The servants should be expert and handy, as there is a good deal of waiting to be done. One should hand the cups of tea on a waiter, together with sugar and cream; another should do the same with coffee, and both should take notice of the empty cups, and take them to be refilled. Then there should be one to carve and help at the sideboard, and another to change the plates, hand bread and butter, &c. Very often the gentlemen wait to a great extent upon the ladies and themselves on these occasions. After the fruit has been handed the servants leave the room. It is usual for the party to remain a short time at the table after the conclusion of the meal. Sometimes a dance on the lawn, or on the drawing-room carpet, music, talk, or charades end an entertainment of this kind; but if dancing is not introduced, the success of a tea depends much upon the arrangement of the reception room. The furniture should be so arranged that the rooms may look full, and yet progress be not impeded. Tables and chairs should be so placed that the guests naturally form themselves into little groups, and can with ease pass from one knot to another. A room stiffly arranged will destroy all the wish for conversation and mirth, and also the power of producing it as well. And, again, an immediate depression follows the fatal moment when, either through forgetfulness or ignorance, the guests form themselves into an unbroken circle round the room. Few people have the sang froid to talk, much less talk freely and well, when every one can hear their remarks; and yet few are too bashful to converse in a small group. It really requires that the hostess should keep her eye upon her company in order to prevent this catastrophe, and to disperse them in time, for once this circle formed, it is almost an impossibility to break it up. A gloom pervades, hilarity ceases, only an occasional remark is ventured upon and the party is converted into a Quaker’s meeting, simply from this one circumstance. “Little teas” takes place in the afternoon. Now that dinners are so late, and that “teas proper” are postponed in consequence to such an unnatural hour as ten p.m., the want is felt of the old fashioned meal at five, and so it has been reinstated, though not in quite the same form as before. The modern afternoon tea takes place about five, and the invitation is by card, intimating that Mrs. ________ will be “At home” on such an afternoon. No answer is necessary. When the day arrives, if you are disengaged, and so disposed, you call upon your friend, are ushered into her drawing-room, and there you find her and others who have come on the same errand as yourself. The tea equipage is placed on a table near to the lady of the house, who herself dispenses the tea. Usually this equipage is one specially designed for these occasions. The cups and saucers are smaller than those in use at other meals, and are of a more dainty and refined character. The other accompaniments also are on a smaller scale—the spoons, sugar basin and bows, cream jug, are distinctively small. No plates are brought into the room except those which hold cake or rolled bread and butter. Gentlemen, of course, will tender their services; but they should not be too officious or over anxious to do their duty. There are men who will perpetually be handing cake, and offering to do this, that, and the other about the tea-tray. People do not assemble at these five o’clock teas to eat and drink, but merely to see and talk to each other, and take a cup of tea the while as a refreshment. Small tables should be placed here and there, so that people can group round them and use them. If these afternoon receptions are on a large scale, it is necessary for the servants to hand the tea, or for the tea to be poured out by a servant in another room, to which each guest is asked to go by the lady of the house sometime during the hour they remain in the house, but as “little teas” are thoroughly social gatherings, servants should be excluded if possible. Several new features have lately been introduced into this phase of social life when guests go by invitation. Enthusiasts of whist collect their forces and enjoy a good rubber between afternoon tea and dinner. A dance on the carpet finds favour with the young people. Sometimes the hostess entertains her friends by engaging a professional musician or a reciter to exhibit their talents. We do not know whether country people are so far demoralized as to introduce these entertainments, but it is, at any rate, a London fashion. You take your departure whenever you feel inclined, but should on no account stay later than seven o’clock.
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